A Selfish Kind of Love Read online

  “Beautiful Black woman isn’t your type?”

  “Gold digger isn’t my type.”

  “It’s more to Tess than that,” he defended her. It didn’t surprise Kyree. He’d known Landon since he was a freshman trying to get on to impress this baddie who caught his attention but wouldn’t give him the time of day because he didn’t have enough money. Kyree remembered that baddie was Tessah.

  “From the day she met me she judged me with those big bug eyes of hers. I’ve dealt with enough women like her, Chan included, to know there ain’t much more than what’s on the surface.” He shrugged while heading to the back. “You can grab a beer or water out the fridge while I get your shit together.”

  “Bet,” Landon said, letting the conversation end.

  Deep down Kyree had nothing against Tessah personally but girls like her and she made it easy with her slick comments and smug attitude towards him to taunt her.

  “When you gon’ get more Roxys?” Landon asked as they headed back outside.

  “In a couple weeks. That’s your holy grail so I’ll hit you up.” Roxicodone was a powerful opioid prescription painkiller that produced effects similar to those of heroin when misused and college kids loved it.

  Kyree’s eyes fled to Tessah leaned against Landon’s truck. When their eyes met, disgust crossed her face. “You dodged a bullet with her,” he said to Landon.

  “Chill on the homie,” he said with a shake of his head as his phone rang and Wifey popped on the screen. “Tessah wasn’t for me. I got my queen.” They dapped each other up and went their separate ways.

  The thought of having someone who would ride for him the way he expected Chandra would, was long gone from his mind. All he cared about for the last year was his daughter’s well-being and stacking his money. Women were a distraction, and they all played you — especially women like Tessah.

  He was living his best life - single and drama free with the exception of his nagging ass baby mama.

  September

  “They were unfailing in their love for me, and most of the time they had gotten nothing in return. Maybe that last part was the proof that my mother was right. They only gave, and I only took.” — Amanda Hocking, Switched.

  TESSAH DANCED AROUND HER townhouse to Lizzo’s latest album as she searched her closet for something to wear to the back to school barbecue the Kappa’s were throwing. Though she didn’t entertain men her age, she had a weak spot for the boys in red when they shimmied. She’d never tell Landon because him and his fraternity brother’s heads were already big enough the way most girls on campus threw themselves at them.

  Her phone chimed, and she pulled it off the charger to see a text from Caiden. Her eyes rolled to the top of her head before she read the message.

  Caiden: Dinner tonight? Wear the necklace I got you while in Miami.

  Tessah: Can’t.

  She sighed and tossed her phone back on her bed as the doorbell rang. “Fuck,” she grumbled, knowing the person on the other side of the door would get on her for not being ready.

  Her afternoon had moved slow. After she’d checked her account and saw Caiden had dropped her allowance in it like clockwork, she’d been thinking how she would let him go.

  How she would let that money go more specifically.

  “Hey girl hey!” She beamed opening her front door for her best friend, Gynah. Tessah found it hard to make friends with women because they were judgmental and Tessah had no time to explain the way she lived her life.

  Gynah was an exception. She was no saint herself but their friendship went beyond their sneaky ways. Gynah’s southern charm was a hard one not to love.

  “I figured your ass was still gon’ be in your damn underwear,” she sassed as she walked inside.

  “My bad. It’s been a long day. I’m ready to chill at this barbecue and drink something.”

  “I’m ready to see Landon’s fine ass.”

  “Here you go,” Tessah said as Gynah followed her to her room.

  “What? The summer’s been long. Besides, he’ll keep me from doing something stupid like sliding back to Briyon’s dumb ass.” Tessah turned her head and raised her brows at her best friend. Briyon was Gynah’s ex who dogged her out and gave her a curable sexually transmitted infection (STI) more than once. “You heard right. He’s been hitting me up.”

  “You need to leave Briyon where he is.”

  “You’re right but I got needs and Landon hasn’t been hitting my line. I’ve been back in town for a couple weeks and he knows.”

  “Well… probably for the best.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we both know Lan ain’t shit. I have no say about you sleeping with someone’s man but as much as I love Landon… you can do better than him and Briyon.”

  “Anyway.” Gynah waved her off as she always did. Tessah didn’t understand why her best friend would subject herself to men who did nothing for her besides give her a side chick role. Gynah was a beauty who owned her curvaceous body like no one’s business. At five feet six inches, her mocha skin kissed every inch of her size twelve body. The girl was book smart but clearly not intelligent when it came to the opposite sex. “How are things with you and fine ass doctor bae?”

  “Actually,” Tessah said, pulling on some white cut up booty shorts that gripped her ass and cinched her small waist. “He’s been doing the most since our trip and I’m thinking it’s time to find a replacement.” Tessah held up two crop tops - one mauve, one rose colored.

  “Really?” Gynah pointed to the rose colored one.

  “Yeah. The fucker mentioned getting married.”

  “Bitch!” Gynah threw her arms in the air. “Set for life!”

  “It sounds good but hell no. Caiden is,” Tessah shook her head and pulled off her bonnet not knowing the right words, “he’s too much for me outside of our situation. A few months ago I peeped him getting attached when he revealed he loved me but shit I’ve heard it before so it didn’t raise a red flag. But now… I can’t be bothered.” She continued to shake her head as she pulled out bobby pins that kept her twists stretched. “He’s fucking up a good thing getting his feelings involved.”

  “Damn you got these niggas loving you?”

  Tessah shrugged with a smile as she undid her twists. “I’m a charming bitch.”

  “Wellll it sounds like we about to be boo shopping to find you a new one. Maybe someone our age. You know,” Gynah placed her pointer to her chin, “you and Ivan would be hella cute together. Them shea buttered babies y’all would make would be life.” Ivan was Landon’s best friend. He was handsome with his dark cocoa skin but she’d pass.

  Tessah frowned. “Heffa, nobody thinking about Ivan’s regular ass. My yoni don’t jump for fine it jumps for money.”

  “Well you got a billionaire ready to lock it down and you passing it up.”

  “That thought alone dries me up. I don’t wanna be locked down by Caiden’s ass. He treats his wife like shit. All I want is his money. The dick is mediocre anyway. I’d be cheating on him and lose my bank which I’m about to lose anyway - shit. I don’t know why he’s fucking things up. Must be a midlife crisis.”

  “He’s thirty-eight!”

  “Old as fuck.”

  “Girl hush. Anyway, you might wanna leave him alone like you said then.”

  “I know. That’s been my thoughts since he asked that dumb ass question. Then I got this monthly stipend and my yoni was like ‘bih don’t let this go’.”

  Gynah giggled. “You got Em.”

  “Em and I situation don’t work like that.”

  “That boy loves you and would drop his girlfriend in a split second.”

  “Hush.”

  “So what you gonna do?” she asked.

  Tessah shook her head side to side to bring her twist out to life. She poked out her lip before responding, “Break things off with Caiden.”

  ❖❖❖

  Tessah placed her hands on her knees, stuck her tongue out,
and bounced her butt to the music the DJ was playing at the monthly Trap Brunch event.

  “Ayyyy!” Gynah’s voice boomed throughout the section her and Tessah was in.

  Tessah laughed as she dropped it low and whined her way back up. She grabbed her mimosa off their table and gulped it. “This my damn song,” she sang, popping a fried mushroom in her mouth.

  “I can tell.” Gynah smirked.

  Screams from across the restaurant broke out and neither girl paid it any mind as they slid back into their seats.

  “How’d dinner with Caiden go the other night?” It had taken two weeks for Tessah to talk herself into breaking things off with her money provider but Friday night she’d done it.

  He still didn’t get the picture.

  “He told me he’ll give me some time to think about what I’m doing.”

  Gynah cocked her head to the side. “Say what now?”

  “My thoughts exactly. I pulled a thank you for your services and he still was like ‘I ain’t mean to scare you off with the marriage thing. We can chill on that but I still want to take care of you. You know I love you.’”

  “Sis… I hope he’s not a stalker.”

  “Girl no. He doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. He’s used to being in control and me letting him be. But he’ll see I’m done fucking with him.”

  “Speaking of fucking.” Gynah grinned seconds before huge hands covered Tessah’s eyes.

  “Guess who?”

  She cheesed, jumped up, turned around and came face to face with a fine specimen — Emery Watson. “Em!” Tessah wrapped her arms around his neck as they hugged. He squeezed her tight, engulfing her in his warmth.

  That’s what all the commotion was about.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked as he joined them at their table.

  “Thought I’d surprise you,” he said. “We had a Thursday game. I got a couple days off so I came down.”

  She slapped him on his wrist. It was always good to see him. They were more than fuck buddies - they were friends. “And I love surprises.” He winked at her before they continued to catch up with each other.

  Brunch turned into day partying which turned into Tessah ripping Emery out of his clothes as soon as they stepped foot into her townhome. Not because she missed him so much but the fact she hadn’t had a real man inside of her in weeks had her on edge. Between her having to cut off Caiden and finding her rhythm for this semester, she hadn’t had time to find someone to get her rocks off. Besides Ace - her handy dandy dildo.

  But she craved the real thing.

  Tessah wasn’t a sex fiend but there was nothing like Emery’s big dick to get her thinking straight.

  The moment he slid inside of her, life became clearer. The birds were chirping again, and she’d confirmed within herself she’d made the right decision with Caiden.

  She’d find someone better and in the meantime, Emery wouldn’t let her suffer.

  Hours later, Tessah laid wrapped in Emery’s huge arms as her phone vibrated non stop.

  She groaned as she reached for her phone with heavy eyes, squinting to read the screen. She kissed her teeth, ignored the call, and put her phone on do not disturb.

  “Who was that?” Emery asked.

  “Caiden,” she said without hesitation. This was what made their situationship different. Emery had a whole girlfriend, and he was aware Tessah had her own situation. They didn’t let any of that impede them from getting pleasure from one another.

  There was a point where Emery wanted more but she couldn’t give him that. His lifestyle wasn’t one she wanted to be a part of. However, they’d been friends since she was sixteen and she’d never used him for money. He always told her he’d have her back especially after she looked out for him in school.

  Emery wasn’t dumb, but he always hated school except for math. She’d written all of his papers in college and helped him complete a lot of his assignments. If it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t have kept up his GPA to play football.

  And if it wasn’t for him, she might’ve been a lot more fucked up.

  “You men sometimes get into your feelings,” she said with a yawn.

  “What happened?”

  “He told me he was going to leave his wife for me and put a ring on my finger.”

  Emery huffed. “He tripping. If you’re marrying anyone, it’s me.”

  Tessah snickered. “Don’t start your shit. But yeah…” she drowned out before telling him everything leading up to that point with Caiden.

  “He on some bitch shit?”

  “You see it too.”

  “You need me to roll up on him?”

  Tessah snapped her head his way. “Roll up and do what? Ruin your career?” She shook her head as he rolled his eyes. “I got this. Caiden isn’t use to me being me. I’m testing his control and he doesn’t like it but he’ll get over it after this brat stage. I’m not worried about him.”

  “You shouldn’t be,” Emery said, moving his burly body so Tessah rolled onto her back and stared at him hovering over her. She cheesed, taking in his huge demeanor. Emery was a big dude but not fat; he was meaty. As a defense tackle, it was necessary. Six feet and over two hundred and fifty pounds of muscle. The Aaron Donald of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Cut body, nice beard, and beautiful brown sugar skin. She could stare at him for days. “What you should be worried about is these orgasms I’m about to give you for round three.”

  ❖❖❖

  Sweat flew off Kyree’s face as his fists drilled into the punching bags.

  “Give me five more!” his brother, Quinten, coached.

  “Shit,” Kyree groaned with each punch. His arms were failing him but he pushed through to the end. “Goddamn,” he choked out after the last punch landed.

  “You did that shit bro.” Quint handed him a bottle of water with Nuun inside to rehydrate.

  “The last time I’m working out with yo ass,” Kyree joked as they both found their way to a bench outside the boxing ring.

  Quint laughed, paying him no mind as they downed their water. This was a regular occurrence for them and though Kyree complained each time, his Wednesday boxing sessions with his little brother were the highlight of his weeks. It gave them time to catch up on each other’s life and bond.

  “Yo,” Quint slapped his brother on the bicep, “why is your baby mama blowing up my phone?”

  Kyree’s eyes lowered as they stared at Quint’s phone log. “Shit,” he chuckled, “I forgot I blocked her ass last night.” He pulled out his phone to unblock Chandra.

  “Lawd, why are you doing Chan dirty this week?”

  “Man,” he dragged out as he sent her a text checking on his daughter, “Chandra is losing it. She wants more from me when I told her that shit is dead. Been dead.”

  Quint shook his head. “You probably should stop smashing.”

  Kyree ran his palm behind his neck. “You right. It’s the convenience when I need to release stress.”

  “And every time you lay the pipe, she thinks she has a chance at winning you back.”

  “Why females think their pussy has that much weight? It doesn’t.” Quint cackled at his words. “But I hear you lil bro. Forever reading my ass.”

  “Somebody gotta keep your ass in shape until you get a nice wholesome woman to do so.”

  “Fuck that. Those kind don’t exist as far as I can see. All these chicks out for money and what someone can do for them while not bringing nothing to the table. None of ‘em worth my time. I learned my lesson with Chan.”

  “Speaking of, she working yet?”

  “Final-fucking-ly,” Kyree groaned as they stood and headed to the locker room. “She saw I wasn’t kidding about cutting her off. Her ass went back to doing hair.”

  “Well that’s a start. How’s my niece?”

  “Cute as hell but bad as fuck. She sassy man.” Kyree smiled thinking about his heart. Cherry was the only good thing out of his relationship with Chandra. He’d always car
e for her because she gave him the thing he cherished the most and always would.

  “Me and Ry need to come get her for some uncle - niece time before this wedding planning kills both of us.”

  “Shit, it is about time for y’all to get on that shit. Eight months bro.”

  “Eight damn months and I’m ready.”

  Kyree admired his little brother. Quint and him shared a three year age gap. At twenty-four, his brother was successful, put together, wise beyond his years, and had no problem being himself despite what anyone else thought. Also the love he and Ryan shared as college sweethearts was one for the books.

  “What you getting into after you leave here?” Quint asked as they pulled their gym bags out of their respective lockers.

  “I gotta drop Landon’s shipment off to his home girl house around this way ‘cause he at basketball practice.”

  “How this home girl look?” Quint questioned with raised brows.

  “Nah,” Kyree said with a frown. “She a Chan type. We bump heads just from looking at one another.”

  “Damn.” Quint snickered. “But you ain’t say what she look like.”

  “Nigga,” Kyree huffed. “You ain’t finna be checking for her so why you care?”

  “‘Cause my brother need to find some new cutty.”

  “Trust me it ain’t gon’ be with Tessah’s ass,” he said as his phone vibrated and a long angry text from Chandra came in. “See this bullshit.” He showed his brother who laughed.

  “You gotta handle that, Ky.”

  “I will. I will,” he said, tossing his phone into the locker, grabbing his towel, and heading towards the showers.

  An hour later Kyree was pulling out of the Chipotle next door to the boxing gym with a full stomach and a grimace on his face. “What Chandra?” he asked, answering the call coming in through his car’s Bluetooth.

  “I just think it’s funny how-”

  “Ain’t nothing funny about how you’re blowing my phone up. Is something wrong with Cherry?”

  “If it was, you wouldn’t know since you’ve been playing block games.”